Friday, July 6, 2012 at 06:33AM
Rachel Ellen Andrews

So, this painting is finished - reason enough to celebrate!

But it is more than that.  

This painting took a couple of months to create; it started off really well and then I left it - she was put on the back burner for a while. While I was thinking about writing this post, I wondered to myself why? Why had it taken so long to finish this painting??

I thought about this and started to write a long. long blog post in my head about my life story and my history of depression, but what it really boils down to is this:

I'm choosing JOY.

Why? Because I've have had bouts of depression throughout my adult life which started during my teens.  Some of these had events that sparked them off but some just came out of the blue.  I'm now choosing joy and I am not listening to the black crow that has perched on my shoulder on and off for most of my life.   

I came to a realisation that this painting is a celebration of my own joy emerging; she took a long time to finish because I wasn't ready to accept what she was about.

What was most interesting was thinking about my painting process and where the paintings come from. I know this already - painting is my connection to my soul or to Source.  But looking a bit deeper, even on the blackest, darkest days when the crow is trampling about all over my head and will not be shooed away, when I start to work with colours and paint or journal or mess around with glue and bits of junk mail collage what emerges is not darkness and gloom or melancholy and shadows, it is work like this:

or this

 What is in my soul and my heart is JOY!

Joy of joys - inside this is what I look like!!  My 'goddess and leaves' painting is a celebration of me and what's inside of me... a celebration of my own joy emerging.

It's also what's inside of you dear heart...

However dark the day, however blue you feel, what's REALLY inside is your own joyful self, doing a little dance, singing a little song... (and I KNOW it can really, really feel like this is not possible - but truly it is).

From my oh so joyful heart to yours

Rachel xx

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